So I've been thinking about lots of stuff lately. I kind of have to keep it vague, because of the internet and such. But I've come to the realization that there are just some things I'm going to have to accept. Adam will forever play WOW. Anthony will probably cry every morning I bring him to school. The dog will always beg for food and run away. There are not enough hours in the day to get done what I want to. Life goes on even when I'm not there.
And I've had some important discoveries, too. Friends are really REALLY important, especially when they aren't nearby anymore :( If I don't get the house cleaned, it's not the end of the world. I need to appreciate my husband more. I need to appreciate the kids more. Our time on this earth is very limited.
I've started reading the Book of Mormon again, only this time, I'm trying to read it like a history book. I haven't decided whether or not I want to go back to the Mormon church, because I have a lot of issues with it still. But I figure if I have any interest at all, I need to start from the beginning and UNDERSTAND all the principles, even if I don't agree with some of them. It's actually been very enlightening, and sometimes I'll find a scripture that really helps me through my day. I know both my parents REALLY want me to start going back to church. And part of me wants to, also. But there are a lot of obstacles - Adam really seems to have no interest in going to church with me, and I really want to be able to go as a family, and because of the way I was SO anti - Mormon when I met Adam, I think I made him not like the church. Plus, it's hard being able to go to Relief Society by myself when I do go, because the kids don't like to be separated from me. It's really a big issue that I don't talk about a lot. But it's almost always on my mind every day. My sister has had the missionaries over to her house recently, and I wish I was that brave, but I'm not. I don't want to say or do the wrong thing and have them be like, "WELL......she's hopeless. She's going to hell, just like all the other sinners!" I mean, I doubt they would actually say that, but still.......I don't know.